复杂的mood~

Trial exam is coming soon...
but i cant focus on study any subject...
what's the reason ??
i dunno...but i try to find a best place for study...
i only can do this...


my mood is very complicated...
sometime happy,sometime down...
when i am happy,
i just like a child...
when i have a bad mood,
i will do anything to convert my mood...



Starting from 6 month ago...during the youth fellowship camp,
a friend told a truth...a worst truth...
when i knew about my friend,my good friend,
created a group,
what's the group??
is the 'anti tcw'group...
my heart broken,almost crumble...
gracefuly,
a woman advised me at the time...
let me could clear away my sadness,
and continue to lead my team...


Until now,i still cant forget ...
although 2 friends ardy make an apology for me...
because the group still have many people...
y?y they can do this?
i hate...
no because of them, is me!
y i can let my friends hate me even they do like this?!


From that day ,
i try to change myself...


I feel lonely in the fellowship...
i m very admire jc and yuer lin...
sinyi,steven,jc,yuerlin,choocau,catwee,desmond,brandon,bryan....
their friendship r very good...
i try to join with them...
A few day,
i very happy...but,
oneday,
i realise catwee and someone repel me...
i m very sad...
from that day,i dunno how to face with them..
so i try to avoid them...


i really hope they will accept me...
i m very disappointed...


I admire Paloh's youth fellowship...
i m very friend with them....
they do not repel each other...
but i m live in YP...
cant join with them manytime...
Sometimes,i hope that i can go to Paloh and join them...
i hope go to their fellowship.


There are the mood i have...
i write on blog because no one can understand my heart...